I was contemplating whether I could match each of my cats to one of the Practical Cats, for example might Mystic match Growltiger or Felix be a Rum-Tum-Tugger? However, this would take closer reading than I have time for today, so I’ve just included The Ad-dressing of Cats for your pleasure. A very important topic; as you may remember, I changed Mystic’s name at an early stage, against my usual practice with rescue cats, as I had no intention of standing at the door calling ‘Dipstick!’
Felix and Fluff are OK names but lack imagination, and I think it’s too late to find near-approximations to change them to now. Well, I shortened Fluff-ball to Fluff, but then you would.
How do you Ad-dress your cats? And do they ever answer?
The Ad-dressing of Cats
You’ve read of several kinds of Cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand their character.
You now have learned enough to see
That Cats are much like you and me
And other people whom we find
Possessed of various types of mind.
For some are sane and some are mad
And some are good and some are bad
And some are better, some are worse–
But all may be described in verse.
You’ve seen them both at work and games,
And learnt about their proper names,
Their habits and their habitat:
But how would you ad-dress a Cat?
So first, your memory I’ll jog,
And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.
And you might now and then supply
Some caviare, or Strassburg Pie,
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste–
He’s sure to have his personal taste.
(I know a Cat, who makes a habit
Of eating nothing else but rabbit,
And when he’s finished, licks his paws
So’s not to waste the onion sauce.)
A Cat’s entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
And so in time you reach your aim,
And finally call him by his NAME.
So this is this, and that is that:
And there’s how you AD-DRESS A CAT.